I need 靈感.

Sorry for this long and wordy entry. Too much stuff to catch up on... It's probably a whole month worth of stuff.

Like everyone else, school is FINALLY OVER. Oh God. I totally thought it would never end, or the survival level was extremely low. It feels so good to be relieved from projects and all-nighters. No more staying up for 36 hours. My animation didn't, er, really come out all that well since it was crammed in its last 12 hours, and therefore too chicken to show it... but hopefully I get okay grade for the class. Though the time invested into the rendering was worth it; it got 94%, my first A in the class's projects. ><///

Thoughts on this Fall2008 semester:
In all honesty, both extremes. My initial answer was I HATED it very much, and that same thought has been echoing throughout the semester.

( Reasons. )

Post program entrance updates:

• Paris trip: I will most likely be studying abroad in Paris for June 2009. It's an exclusive trip for the A/I program, made up of 16 people. Somehow I got picked, and it'd be kind of dumb not to take the chance. The only factors that are, well, hindering me from fully wanting to go is that Fanime is right before the trip, and last year I already caught a sorethroat infection prior to the Europe trip (because I was preparing last minute)... and we had to call in a local doctor. Speaking of which, I never finished my Europe report, DID I?;; Anime Expo is also right after. But 90% I'm going because Clapp made it sound so prestigious to have been picked... and it's PARIS;;
  
  Although that leaves me with extra work (research and other exercises) over the break and throughout the spring semester. Go figure.


• Sketchbook: Those who just made it into the program need to fill a sketchbook of life studies during the break. I need to confirm with someone, but my understanding is that we turn in the sketchbook in the beginning of spring semester? O_O; Uh oh. *sigh* And I thought I can doodle my own stuff during break. Shouldn't be that bad... though I'm just keep thinking. It's winter, and I don't want to be sketching in the cold.

Therefore, goals for the break:

• Gaming: well, not really a goal, but still. I said I would. Fire Emblem's which I need to get first and hopefully Haruka4. And more Rockband and SSBB XD
• Research and Reading: for the Paris Trip. I mean, it's throughout the spring semester too, but I should get a good portion out of the way first. I have to read Catch-22 and research (1) Edouard Manet and (2) Emile Zola.
• Sketchbook: As mentioned above.
• Fandom: I've been so out of touch with series.
• Own doodles: I want to draw my own stuff. Fanarts or not. I have to pick up a personal style again. I don't know what it is anymore. And also need to complete commissions.
• Hang out with Friends: I've turned down enough invitations over the semester. TvT
• Ocarina: Will elaborate later.

Christmas is just around the corner wut? I feel terrible not being able to send out cards this year...

Portfolio Over. OVER. The last ounce of strength, the second time awake for 24 hours this week. I fell asleep at work today, and my boss let me off early; I ended up napping for 4 hours. Lately the sorethroat and coldsores have been increasing. But... Oh God. I submitted, and I fear the outcome. Clam and Tony said it only takes around a week or two to get the results up on the wall, and that is so not enough time to give breathe relief. A good number of classmates I'm friends with have applied as well; deep down inside I know I'm not on par with them, and I don't know if I'll be mentally prepared to know I won't being sailing on the same boat as them. It's hard to stay enthusiastic even when I know I've at least tried.

A little late for Prop 8 rant, but seriously, California. By definition of "traditional" marriage, we mind as well go back to traditional, right? Like, wed for reproduction and not for romance. Like, young girls get wedded and impregnated to death by old men. (That means pedophilia was valid ages ago, huh?) Oops, that means I'm too old to get marry now. HARHAR. Seriously, definition of marriage has evolved countless throughout the course of history. Just decades ago, inter-racial was considered taboo as well. I'm truly disappointed that the civil movement of this era, the one this generation's living through, is losing. Granting the happiness of others won't hurt anyone. It's not like het couples are setting good examples to the world anyways these days. This country should stop being hypocritical and having beliefs dictate the law. If it wants to promote Constitutional, fundamental rights are for everyone, then LIVE IT.

Okay, time for Sheldon's homework... I hate always cramming it last minute. I hate this perpetual cramming in all of my classes in general and how my division of attention to them all is -lately- completely reflecting on the outcome of my assignments. I hate how I was foolish enough to tackle three studio classes plus a writing class (100W), just for the sake of moving faster. (Ironically 100W seems to be the class I'm actually doing well on when I care about it the least) I hate how I get accused of cramming last minute by choice, how I'm not working hard enough, when I'm barely sleeping just to even complete (not excel on) every assignment when the advisor said it would be manageable. I hate the reality that they're just merciless.

Now completely off-topic, I extremely LOLed on this. A little belated Halloween spook.

The real face of Marth. (etherealdark this is for you.) It's been circulated among some of the fansites. If I read one of their diary correctly, it was drawn by the famous fanartist Sui Yumeshima. ♥ I love their depiction of the S-ouji. XD There's a Brawl tournament next Wednesday on campus. I really wanna go but I'm sooooooo out of practice *cries* And there are all the assignments.

Black and white acrylics, around 50 hours.

This is the sucker that kept me up for 24 hours straight last night in the art building, and the room was freezing (I even had 4 layers on). As it is pure rendering, the painting had to work up close too, and Cameron was picky on the little details TT; I just got a better print out of my photo yesterday and had to adjust everything to higher key in the last 12 hours. So... Not done, but had to turn it in as so; I'd need another 20 hours to polish it up. Acrylics are from outer space, dammit! I hope this is at least a (high) B.

I would have given up, but some of my classmates had even more complex photos and pushed themselves to the max, so even though there's no way surpassing them, at the very least I had to try a little more. Sometimes it's so hard not to feel small. But it was entertaining cuz they were being gay with each other. Guys should never stop being dorks. XD

A little trivia: the mask belongs to my sister's, the lace/dress was my baby dress mom still kept, the glass is my dad's, and the rest of the junk is mines. I bought the pocketwatch just for prop and plan to return it now that I'm done with it.

Hokay, Art28 now!

本小人在一群高手同輩們中真是沒什麽地位好立.

是自己經歷不足，不夠努力，還是自己沒才能呢.

（跳）

Next time I decided to cram 13 chibis in a week, let it not be for a con. Maaaan, 4 months of no CG, my coloring has pittbottomed. That, and I rushing. TT;



Zelda, Samus, and Pit left. Ack I might not have time for Marth and Fox ;___; Or Sonic... SOB. I can prolly squeeze in one or two. Or any other characters preferred?

Quick question, you think they should be bookmarks or keychains? I originally planned bookmarks, but...

Less than 24 hours to get this finished & other prints ready.. Ahh freakin a. I'm hardly ready. Need to get up for 'final' at 9:30. So I'll nap for 4 hours right now.

BTW, hellmaster05 and I are TABLE 77! Fellow artists, see you there! ♥

I hate my tablet for deciding to go RIP on me now. I'll try to revive it again later...

It's not the end of the world... just pick-up the hellish mouse-coloring skills.
TEH PAIN. WRIST PAIN.

I just realized how much crap I'm gonna have to catch up do within the next 2 weeks / month, basically.

- Reverse drawing (40 hours left of progress)
- Asian Americans interview essay (5pg) due May 1st
- Health Science community interview essay due May 12th(?)
- catch up quality daily sketches from life
- 2 polished pages of comic for final project
- anatomical muscles test May 14th

Someone make a coffin for me.

Orphaned Work: Serious Copyright Issues?. Article from US Copyright Office.

Okay, I realize that the intention for this bill is probably a good one... but er, not everyone can afford to pay for copyright registration.

Watermark/signature is a minimal step, but with so many image manipulation methods these days, it's not secure enough. One protection is to have a high resolution of your pic. That should be a logical argument that the artwork's yours? Within the digital world anyways.

But before this is blown out of proportion... on the bright side, even IF they will pass the law, at least there are fair measurements, such as "acting in good faith and diligently searching for the owner [of the artwork]" before the user can really purchase the untraceable artwork.

And this is assuming someone is rich enough to buy it, and assuming the artwork is good enough. 8D;;;

I'll go study or game.

Dammit why is today so HOT.

Again, Brawl code 8D! 0860-2999-7482

I GO NUTS. Don't like comic assignment still. Don't like drawing to impress an instructor.
Don't like trying to follow conventional rules in general. Skfjdsjfjdlfjlsjjdjfsfjdl.

I feel slightly better.

I wish I knew how to use Flash more. X_X

So I dropped into Art 112B today... Sheldon's drawing methods are completely different from Clapp (112A) T_T Clapp emphasizes on precise accuracy, and Sheldon is gearing toward animated lines. My brain's gonna hurt. And 5 hours long. Only reason why I'm still considering is because Tim, Sal, Juan, and even Kira are in the class. (Gah, admire Kira so much ;_; She's so talented, kind, and classy pretty!) I rather take it with company. But with Art 112A and Art 51 in the schedule, along with 2 GE courses, I fear the workload. I'll drop Karate and DigiMedia.

What I fear most though is that these classes will make me hate drawing.

OT: SLKFJdskjfkjdslj S Project's new top is MOE~~~ ♥

D:
Unlike many, I'm not fond of the new shota kid Ginger Bread... Actually, not entirely fond of so many new characters appearing one by one, cuz the current pacing doesn't allow any quality time to embrace any of them. I rather see more development on characters we already know ;_; AND AND... shota kid killed Colonello, which is unforgivable T___T!!! That sounds so weird, killed by ginger bread... GO LAL; KICK HIS ARSE. But but... I trust Amano-sensei will reveal answers to all the "why" questions soon, hopefully.

Short classes report. Asian Americans... gonna be lonely and bored out of my mind. Health Science... Didn't expect Adrienne to be in the class as well o_o; I think I'm keeping it, CUZ WE GET 4 EXTRA DAYS OFF 8D! Intro to Digital Media... I feel like I know most of the stuff they're gonna cover, what with Photoshop and Dreamweaver and all, and I might drop it... only thing keeping me back from dropping is that we'll get to play games (i.e. World of Warcraft) in the class, and... it might be a good portfolio opportunity T^T; Still have yet to see about Art112B tomorrow. FCK.

Was working with Sal, Tim, and Terra, where we discussed over the Art112a comic homework. SOB. Tim's sketch is so clean, and his realism is so believable... Did I mention I love his monster designs? T_T *so inferior*

Definite favorite ballads from last semester:
♥ Muse - Unintended
♥ Within Temptation - All I Need (keep associating it with リボラン... my obsession with it collided with the discovery of リボラン doujinshi even though the lyrics have nothing to do with them... well, it could? xD)

Oh yah. YamaGoku duet is so cheezy and ghey but so cute xDDD!

One of those artistically unmotivated days. They bring my mood down more than anything else, and I hate it.

Going to my physician tomorrow and will ask about my neck pain (which as been about a week) and throat x_x; It feels muscle related.

I want to be a little kid again... thought high school was a pain, but if I had the chance, I'd repeat it make better use of it, seek the guidance that I evaded yet needed, and perhaps admit I was lost.

Got nostalgic over last year's break making the Tenma costume, now wondering how I even made it at all. And then looking back at the artbook, I went nostalgic over Apocripha/0 and that period of mass fanart production. How did I do it T_T

Asian Americans midterm studying just spoiled my Halloween entirely =_=

This course is completely US History and Government all over again. So reading history I can still stand, but God governmental structures NOOOOO. None of the material stays in my brain x_x!! I hate these classes when we only cover 50%(?) of what we actually READ out of the text chapters. I wish I passed APUSH when I had the chance to, but nope. Didn't have the brain then, and prolly don't have it now either.

I sketched out 3 pages of the Reborn Halloween doujinshi as an alternative... but somewhat expected I'd miss the holiday. *sob* Now I'm wondering whether to finish it or toss it aside and wait until next year.

GODDAMMIT WHY DOES THE MIDTERM HAVE TO BE THIS WEEK? It hasn't even been a month since the last exam!

/whiny mode off

Okay but NODAME IS BACK ♥ Ueno and Tamaki are as dorky as ever. XD

So now that my written exams are done, I move forward to catching up my Art50 & Figure Drawing sketches... =_= Man, I wanna sketch for fun again.

Trying to do that art meme right now. Ever belated entry. *really slow at entering trends* I think I need motivation again.

...but this song never fails to make me smile ♥ Is too sappy cute that way.

Edit hours later: Here's mines. It took much longer than I thought. XD

Curse you phpbb3 for giving me so much trouble. The phpbb crew isn't much help either. If only I have the time to sit down and slowly study the interface =____= Otherwise I'm left with few options.

My uncle printed out the baby shower invitiations; my CG looked so...neater with professional printing (he owns a print shop)! I got a red envelope for the contribution XD Though I wish I can contribute more and make something for my little baby cousin. It will be next Sunday ♥

( Art woe is back. )

I've been stuck on painting the background since last night and am still stuck. God I hate drawing... making up backgrounds. *sigh* Sometimes I am afraid to draw again, or to even rant, for such reason. I throw unnecessary tantrums on the dumbest things when there are so many more things to be grumpy about. Anyone who can draw backgrounds, I bow and take my hat off for you +_+ Sorry Goku-san, the entry will be done -postponed, yet again, to- tomorrow.

Unimportant post.