It's been one year now.

LINK IS THE CUTEST VILLAGE BOY EVERRRRRRRRRR ♥ I'm calm... Twilight Princess ate my two days. Man took so long to get through the Forest Temple xD; I bombed myself so many times. I haven't been a gamer for so long; it gets tiring.

Uhm... drew a little something to commemorate because tomorrow (today) will be 6 months after Strawberry passed away. Has it been 6 months already?


Full version

Pre-reg for Fanime but haven't paid yet.

Think an art block is coming again.

Got links from wedlock ~ @ Firefox and @ Dark Side Rainbow. Poor Brad Fitzpatrick. He'd never meant for LJ to turn out like this.

@ the 2nd article... Harry Potter is a huge fandom. So I guess that makes it an exceptional danger territory XD;

Oh well. In short. This matter is ridiculous and blown out of proportion. I think I'll leave it alone. That's why ljArchive comes in handy~ Not completely in the mood to really rant much about it.

I do want to say that I joined LJ 2 years ago, abandoning my blog, because I liked the Friends-Lock. Now I wonder the liability of it if 6A is becoming such a pain in the ass about content, especially sexual ones in any remotely artistic way. Uh, hello? What's the purpose of a blog tool and "community" if people can't post what they want to serve the community >_>?

Other notes. Phpbb3 templates are a pain in the ass to modify.

Last night would be the 3rd or 4th time I dreamed Strawberry was still with us.

*off to family dinner*

Went to donate blood yesterday at Red Cross, and out of all 4 times I donated, this nurse gave me the cleanest shot. It's not even bruising. Summer classes are over -finally- yesterday, and now I have 3 weeks of rest before Fall semester starts. I want to take my mind off of anything academic related for the time being... *plops down* +_+

• FictionJunction YUUKA and Kajiura Yuki stuff have been occupying my playlist dominantly for the whole month. ♥
  


• Updated ST.com lots yesterday, and got to do the same with the forum. But but... Seki is dub voice for Gyeon-woo in "My Sassy Girl," along with Kobayashi Sanae as The abusive Girl?! Oh God oh God XD... I want to see it bad. The movie was absolute crack and fun... Hmm, I should watch it again.


• I have 2 days to spend the CDJapan 500 yen coupon before it expires. I'm most likely going to use it on the Crossover II DVD.


• Am I crazy for wanting to buy this just because the rabbit resembles Strawberry?;; I was browsing through Uchida Kazuna's titles, and it was like, "BL...BL... more BL... BUNNIES SO CUTE!" That must be how Uchida-sensei got the idea of bunny hole studio and its mascot. X3 ♥ I wonder if I should order at Kinokuniya. ( Slight sentimental talk. )


• Tokyopop (and BLU) has licensed Silver Diamond and Koicha no Osahou(!). (source) Two beloved series! It's a rejoice for the fandoms. Not entirely fond of BLUManga's editing, but they do pick up good titles. ( Personal thoughts. )
  
  Also, I found a great review on Koicha. "An elegant yet persuasive seme and a naive and hyperly strong uke! Now, that’s a match rarely seen in Yaoi manga … And it fits!" That's the exact dynamic balance I love in pairing X3~ Couldn't have said any better. Sakuragi-sensei uses it a lot ♥

Oh yes, my sister will be going to Comic Con tomorrow to meet the Supernatural boys. She's coming back for the evening~

*hops off to watch Nodame LA*

Last night, I dreamed that we were able to go back in time, and we were able to bring Strawberry to the vet in time. She was still in my arms, alive, bobbing her head every direction. I dreamed we found out about her tumor in time; she was not impaired, but instead she hopped around the clinic room with the energy that was her. Then the doctor took her in... Her face was happy and her eyes were sparkling.

Yet, I never got to the part where she came back out from the room, and it was time to wake up. Not even the dream spared mercy and allowed me to see her healed in there.

This surreal, cruel merge -and border- of dream and reality. I never realized the power of loss has over dreams until now.

No matter what way I use to numb myself, waking up is like resetting time, and it resets the tears even though I thought I was dried from them already. Today this cycle happened on countless intervals... and I will still be chasing after her shadow whenever I see her litter box, her cage, her bowl, and whenever I see Kiwi.

This is the only way to be strong enough to deal with her death - face it straight on, no matter how many times of choking back tears and lamenting it'll take. Using something else to cover it up feels like dismissing the matter all together, and God I don't want that.

♥ Thank you everyone for the prayers and condolences, knowing Strawberry has reached others' hearts. For you all, for Strawberry, I will stay strong. Thank you again.

To Dearest Strawberry, whose nicknames are Big Fellow, Big Totoro [Chinese] due to her fur color, Silly Bunny, Ichigo, and more. Part of the family since April 2002 and departed from us today at 4:46PM July 13, 2007.

My Eulogy to Strawberry:

( Precious Memories )

---

( What Happened Yesterday )

( Today, at the clinic... )

---

I was tearing the whole trip back. Before burying Strawberry, I stayed in the garage, holding her stiff body that was wrapped in a towel against me, rocking and hugging her lifeless body, petting her fur, having my last moment with her. Dad went out to dig her grave, and Mom came out to offer me comfort. But all I did was cry harder. She loved the bamboo trees, so we found a box, laid her in it, and buried her right next to the bamboos. We marked her grave and sprinkled the surface with some of her favorite snacks...

The silence rung louder than anything in the house. I took a shower and cried until I fell asleep for a short while; but when I woke up, as I saw the empty cage, all the memories rushed back to me, and the cycle went all over again. My eyes are now beyond swollen. Today, I was supposed to go celebrate Grandmother's real birthday too...

God. I miss her, I miss her so much. I loved her with all my heart... We all loved her, our whole family. And although I knew one day she would leave us, I didn't think it would be so soon. Just like that... when she was still with us 6 hours ago. I miss her pawing at the cage for food. I miss her silly, happy face. I miss petting and scratching her to comfort. I miss seeing Kiwi chase her around.

At least... she is no longer suffering. If she had to be in that state for another few days, I'd rather it happened faster. But her last moment of struggle at the clinic will forever be imprinted in my mind.

Tomorrow... I have my WST exam, and I don't know what state of mind I'll be in. Life goes on, but for the rest of tonight, maybe even tomorrow... Just let me cry it all out. Strawberry, you'll forever be in all of our memories. Please rest in peace.

Lucky ☆ Star ep.12: Tomokazu "Sousuke" Seki vs Tomokazu "Kyon" Sugita
► Anime Tenchou vs Sugita Tenchou ◄

MY BRAIN. *DIEEEZ laughing* Too much crack. And... they nailed down the Sugita resemblance WELL XD

Extended part of the Comiket scene *laughs at the Gauron/Sousuke scene* These girls are cute~ Maybe I really should watch this show. I need something lighthearted these days.

Stole from miyukiko; granted (pun not intended) I know nothing about Tales or its characters, it's more the fun to see the results without being biased. ♥

You scored as Tear Grants, ( Rest of the description and results ) No really. Which Tales of the Abyss character are you? created with QuizFarm.com

Strawberry totally lost her appetite today, and her breathing seemed to have increased... I hope it's nothing serious.

HOT DAY. Argh. Fingers so tired from painting. Trying to match & mix a specific color from paint tube is so hard. But in 2 days, I got half of it done, so... 頑張ります.

Our bunnies got their bathes today! The silly fuzzy wuzzies ^_^ ♥

Strawberry (left) and Kiwi (right). Photos taken by me.

Anyhow, I got to watch Nodame Cantabile up to episode 10. I'm hooked ♥♥♥ My God, pissed! prince Seki Chiaki-sama, prince of the music academy X3! A guy who's not only a music prodigy (classical music no less!) but also a great cook is most definitely a prince in my book. And Nodame is soooooo freakin adorable ♥ She reminds me of Lime in Saber Marionette. Really jumpy, loud, and clingy, but very talented. I can't describe it, but she's really someone I wanna give a hug to~ Ryuutarou is so cool~ He's pretty much the most "down-to-earth" character of the bunch but in a kakkoi way. Masumi just... plainly scares the hell out of me. Not because he's in love with Chiaki, but his... hair and face. Hell, I'd even consider if it was Ryuutarou who's in love with Chiaki. And Stresemann Milch. I don't know where to start XD; Perverted old man who's an internationally famous conductor, accepted Chiaki as a pupil but often uses him as a doll to attract women and as a bucket boy. I want ep.11 ;o;

Okay, gotta run. Family dinner. Grandparents came back from Macau.

死la死la死la死la死la死la死la死la. Stop killing me with these pretty pretties. I only have this one precious life. ♥

But... shiawase. EDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow is Ed's birthday - July 3.

Anyways... today, we washed our rabbits, Kiwi was very easy, because he's a gentleman. On the other hand.. my rabbit Strawberry... *falls* It took 30 minutes to get her out of our sugarcane bush.



She's a silly sweetie. She's chubby though;;;

Ah, queenofbatpig, here's a finalized sketch of your Yasuhira and Kurou~~ feel free to ask for any modifications~~

Just cannot resist grabbing this avatar from bedsight. Gotta love Tamaki (￣▽￣)

Got approved for the Shi Ryuuki fanlisting. I haven't coded/made layouts for so long. psss, any suggestions for the FL title? Royal Dork?

I still have Grandma's 80th birthday to design by next Saturday. No ideas......... I'll try to design something tomorrow before classes start.

Ah yes, yesterday, I was over hearing these two annoying girls talking in SF bus, and they commented "most Japanese are fat anyways". *pfffffff* Japanese people... FAT? HELL NO. They are much skinner than over half population of obesed!Americans. Oh I'd love to see the reaction of those twirps going to Japan.

Ah, Shimatani Hitomi's live performance of "Destiny" yesterday in Music Fair!


----- ☆☆ DOWNLOAD ☆☆

------ Lyrics [romanji by me, don't guarantee it's perfect.]

Mind... itsu datte
Find... motometeta

Shine... ai koso ga
Believe... shinjitsu to

( click for rest of it )

Ah, PS: today we put Strawberry (my chubby bunny) on the stairs to run, and then she ran up the stairs but slipped a few times! And then she was afraid to climb back down. She went one step, and then she chickened out. >.< Not even snacks worked. And then I finally carried her back down stairs to see if she'll climb again. After a while, she finally decided to climb up (again, slipping on a few steps, teh clumsy bun ^^;), as if to say "fine! me show you I can do it!" Strawberry is so silly... ¦3